My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
