I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
