its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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