May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
