I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
