I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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