Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
