Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
