Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
