So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
