i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
