This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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