this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I don't deserve a penis
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
