i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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