dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
