You made me cry and you don't even care
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
