Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Damn victory sex feels great
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
