wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We have so much sex to catch up on
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
