..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
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