she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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