Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
