I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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