I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
