I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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