I'm gonna have a badass scar
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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