there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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