dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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