Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
