its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
