omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
