You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
