Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
