in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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