And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
