I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
