Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
