Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
