you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
