I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
