yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
