She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
ttyl tear gas
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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