he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
