I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
