This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
