So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
