i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
