Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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