God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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