She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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