Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
