We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I need water and some morals
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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